we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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