just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
