tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I had to cum in my sink.
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