Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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