they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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