oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
