dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Did you pee in the oven last night??
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
