so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dick very happy bro
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
