She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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