what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
