did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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