you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
