accomplished twins. life is a go
Operation Purity has been aborted
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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