she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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