she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
