How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
