I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
