do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
