I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
