I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
