My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
