I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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