just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
