u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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