tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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