9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
