i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
