he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
