I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't turn off my feet"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
