Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
