I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
