He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
