legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
