omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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