does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
