Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I met the friendliest cop last night
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
