he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
