i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize