the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Redeem this text for a blowjob
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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