I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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