we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
