She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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