Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
