It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Damn victory sex feels great
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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