I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
