I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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