I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
