Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
