Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
