if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
