she kept yelling 'call me bella'
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
