he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
BRING THE BAGELS
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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