How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
