"it" just moved
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
