we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
