so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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