So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
