Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
