I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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