I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
