she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my sisters under your porch take her home
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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